Exterminio
by boomzgleeks
Summary: When Rachel feels threatened by a certain football player, she puts her foot down. After all, no one messes with Rachel Berry. But what will happen while on her mission to exterminate Mike Chang? On temporary hiatus.
1. Of Evil Berry Gazes and Slushie Trucks

**Hi people (: So basically this is our first fanfiction. 'Our' being me, Leanne and my good friend Carmen**. **We love writing weird fanfictions with totally out-of-this-world plots, but when we got this one down on paper (Microsoft Word, really.) it became more... sensible. Yeah. I can't think of us as sensible. But anyway, since I have no idea how to continue this Author's Note**, **and Carmen's not being any help by telling me to leave it blank, I shall get on with the story. ^^**

**Pairings: Tina/Mike, Rachel/Finn, Quinn/Puck, Brittany/Santana, Rachel/Mike  
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**Disclaimer: If two thirteen-year-olds like us owned Glee, you'd be hearing music along the likes of Lily Allen, Britney Spears and Adam Lambert every episode. Oh wait, they did do Lily Allen's 'Smile' and an episode on Britney Spears' music. But that's not the point! We don't own Glee.**

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Rachel Berry tucked a wisp of brown hair behind her ear and carried on reading her index cards intently. They were colour-coded carefully, of course, with her signature gold star on the top of each corner. She glanced up momentarily as Mr. Schuester entered the room. Secretly, she wished that she could offer him some fashion advice about his hair. Sue's daily jibes at her Spanish and Glee teacher were mean, sure, but they were true in some ways! She thought as he slowly put down his things. Sighing, she continued studying her notes for today's oral presentation. It was all due to her perfectionism, really, as Rachel was top of class for everything and could very well easily ace a Spanish presentation without much preparation, her strongest third language. Or, so she thought. _La historia de la música..._

"All right, class. Let's get the presentation started! Any volunteers to go first?" Mr. Schue said enthusiastically, a contrast to the class of bored football players, Cheerios and Gleeks. Rachel could hear Dave Karofsky, who sat directly behind her informing his cronies about his latest victim of his famous slushie attacks. "We have a presentation today? I didn't know that. What about you, San?" A voice which sounded suspiciously like Brittany asked Santana, who was sitting diagonally behind Rachel. Rachel scanned the room impatiently for anyone who even looked faintly interested in volunteering, or class, for that matter. Even her fellow Gleeks were chatting animatedly about the latest updates on Perez Hilton's blog, not paying any attention to Mr. Schue at all. Fine with me. I'll just ace this again! Extra credit, maybe? Rachel thought hopefully as her hand shot up, fingers close together and straight just like a gymnast's. After all, gymnasts were almost like ballerinas, weren't they?

"Mr. Schue, if I may?" She asked her teacher. Mr. Schue looked at her, dismayed. Every single time during his lesson, she was the only one paying enough attention to volunteer for things like this, and he really wished that he knew that someone else, besides Rachel I-Need-Extra-Credit-So-I-Can-Get-Into-Julliard-And-Out-Of-Lima Berry, actually knew how to speak even a single sentence in Spanish. He highly doubted that, and decided to be the evil teacher for once, picking someone else who was sitting in the corner of the room looking slightly out of place with the other footballers.

"Mike?" The 'Other Asian' of Glee and football looked slightly disgruntled as everybody's head swivelled around to watch him. "Do you have anything to share with the class?" Mr. Schue probed. Mike just shook his head, a little too vigorously, Mr. Schue thought. Rachel huffed and brought her hand crashing back down onto the table in front of her. Why couldn't Mr. Schue pick her? Everybody knew that footballers are plain airheads. Heck, they could barely speak proper English, what with all their mindless 'man's, and 'dude's, let alone Spanish! Mr. Schue sighed, and tried a last resort to get Mike to talk. Of all the Gleeks, the only two he hadn't heard talk that much, or even at all, were Mike and Matt, and the latter had transferred out of McKinley High that year. "Ok, how about I give you this passage and you come up here to read to the class?"

All the students, even the footballers and Cheerios, watched as Puck pushed Mike to the front of the room. Reluctantly, the Asian took the piece of paper in Mr. Schue's hand and read through the passage first. Rachel rolled her eyes, a very un-Rachel-like gesture. "I bet you he gets half the pronunciation wrong," Mercedes whispered in her ear. "Not half, all of it!" Rachel protested indignantly. "Whatever, girl. Footballers just aren't smart." Mercedes wrung her hands and leaned back in her chair. Rachel agreed, and sat up straight in her chair to focus on the student in front of the room. "You can start now, Mike." Mr. Schue prompted.

_"La música es una forma de arte abstracto. Alivia el estrés y es una forma de expresión libre. .Usted puede encontrar su espíritu interior a través de la música. Música es todo acerca de la liberación de sus emociones a través de una canción que se encuentra adecuado, y Cantando en su mejor voz para transmitir sus sentimientos a su público. El público se trasladó al cantar con el corazón. La música es también esencial en la danza, algunos estilos incluyendo el baile de la calle, haciendo estallar, cerradura,…_" Jaws dropped as a string of fluent Spanish came flowing out of the dancer's mouth as easily as water flowing down a river. Even Rachel had to admit, maybe, just maybe, his Spanish was just as good as hers... No, that was impossible! He's a football player, for goodness' sake! She stared, at a loss for words. And Rachel Berry was never speechless. "Whoa..." Mercedes breathed. Mike now looked extremely embarrassed, shuffling his feet awkwardly in front of class. "Yay Mike!" Tina started clapping for her boyfriend frantically. Pretty soon, the footballers were hooting for their teammate and the Cheerios were clapping along. "That was very good, Mike! Why, you even sound like a native to Costa Rica!" Mr. Schue said, elated that someone besides Rachel was good at Spanish. "Where is that? Maluku?" Brittany whispered to Santana. "No, Brittany, it's actually in Spain. The Maluku Islands are actually an archipelago in Indonesia, South-East Asia. I'm surprised that you, such a normally discombobulated student, actually have heard of Maluku." Rachel couldn't resist quipping.

"Whatever, RuPaul," Santana retorted, used to Rachel's showing off, even if it was unintentional. Meanwhile, Mr. Schue was trying to speak to the entire class about Mike's unusual penchant for Spanish. "Mike's just transferred into Spanish, and he's already overtaking you, Rachel," he declared. "I think we had all better work harder, or Mike will be our top student this term." Rachel felt her fists clench at Mr. Schue's words. She was used to be the top student in everything, and she felt extremely angry that a mere football player threatened to overtake her spot. _But I'm wearing my luckiest checkered skirt today!_ She made up her mind to ruin Mike once and for all.

Mr. Schue gave the class their homework, which Rachel immediately wrote down in her notebook, trying to appear as conscientious as possible. Brittany was doodling on her notebook, and Rachel felt extremely dismayed with Brittany, but thankful that she was not attempting to overtake Rachel.

Mike looked extremely taken aback as Rachel approached him after class. "Look, I didn't mean to, like, overtake you or anything. So, err, see you in Glee Club?" He said, seemingly trying to avoid the flared up diva. "Wait!" Rachel said. She looked extremely small next to the tall Mike, but she didn't care, seeing as she was Rachel Berry. "I'm Rachel. I'm good at Spanish. Wait, correction. My Spanish is _impeccable._" She then stuck out her hand at Mike, presumably for him to shake. Mike looked confused, but shook her hand tentatively. "You, on the other hand, are Mike. You're a football player. You suck at Spanish. I'm the best at Spanish, in this entire town, and I'm even better than Mr. Schue, and you are not going to change that."

"Um…ok?" replied Mike. "Chill." Just as he walked off, looking slightly confused about the whole Rachel Berry is angry matter, Santana walked over, slushie in hand. She threw its contents into Rachel's face, leaving the latter shocked and extremely annoyed. Of course, it was not the first time she had gotten a slushie in the face, but it was shocking that someone could slushie her right after her reputation had taken a serious blow just a few minutes before! She went over to her locker, having done this many times before, took out a fresh change of clothes, and disappeared into the girls' bathroom. She vowed that when she was the greatest Broadway star of the century she would buy a Slushie truck and shower all the Cheerios and football players with slushies. Like, seriously. Not just purple ones either. Orange ones, purple ones, blue ones. They would create an extremely weird colored slushie when mixed together, but that would definitely be all the better for their total humiliation in front of Lima, Ohio. On second thoughts, seeing as she would be filthy rich then, she would first buy plane tickets for all of them to go on stage with her on Broadway, and then dump the slushie mixture on them in front of her multi-millionaire audience, just to double, no, quadruple, their humiliation. Life was good, when you were a star.

Well, not Finn. Finn was really hot, and nice, except that he would have to seriously brush up on his performance skills and stage presence if he wanted to have any chance of getting into Julliard with Rachel. Rachel adjusted her hair again and went out of the ladies' room, this time dressed in a yellow knit top with sequins on it. She noticed that Kurt quickly looked away from her as he passed her in the corridor, and attributed this to him feeling embarrassed at being beaten in fashion by Rachel, even though he had done so to avoid the sight of Rachel dressed in such terrible clothing.

When she got to the choir room, she noticed how Tina and Mike were sitting together, laughing over a plate of cheese fries. She wrinkled her nose, both at the public display of affection and the cheese fries. They were terrible for your vocal chords, and Rachel valued her vocal chords above everything else, except maybe Finn. She sat down next to Mercedes and Kurt, feeling extremely annoyed. She hated the fact that they were eating in the choir room, a sacred place for Glee Club and nothing else. For this week's Glee Club their assignment had been to prepare a classic love song and sing it with as much emotion as possible. Rachel had chosen 'I Will Always Love You' by Dolly Parton. It was old, but she thought she would be able to impress Mr. Schue with it.

After what seemed like forever, Mr. Schue and most of the other Gleeks entered the room. He took a long time to set down his things, which made Rachel all the more impatient. She walked up to him, sheet music in hand for the pianist. Mr. Schue looked confused. "What is it, Rachel?"

"I would like to perform first," emphasised Rachel. "After all, I am the lead singer. I think that my song, which is 'I Will Always Love You' by Dolly Parton, will impress everyone in this Glee Club. Why do you look so confused? I mean, I always volunteer first." She smiled at Mr. Schue, bursting with excitement to present her assignment. Sitting on the chairs, Puck was flirting with Santana, Mercedes and Kurt were discussing something along the lines of Nicole Richie's latest dress, Tina and Mike were laughing, and no one was paying any attention to her. Rachel felt extremely insecure all of a sudden.

"Sorry, Rachel," said Mr. Schue. "I know you've been working hard, but you have to let Mike go first. He and Tina have prepared a duet, and I think we need to try out different lead singers for a change. The judges won't like it if it's always you and Finn singing the leads, don't you think?" Rachel thought otherwise, but respected her teacher enough to let him go on. "Mike and Tina need a chance to shine, and they have great voices, so it would be good if they could do one of the numbers and you and Finn could do another." Rachel was appalled at Mr. Schue's suggestion. How could he ever think that? Rachel was destined to be a star (read: Hog all the performance items, alone) and Mr. Schue was not going to take that away, both in Spanish and Glee Club!

Well, not just Mr. Schue, but Mike. What was his problem, anyway? He was a football player, who was popular, and he didn't need Glee Club, but Rachel did. It was her solo. She needed it, she wanted it, she deserved it, and she would have had it if not for him and his 'talent'. He lacked any emotional depth whatsoever when he sang, and he had never sung a solo before. He deserved to be one of those background singers, setting the stage for true stars like herself. When she became a great Broadway legend, she would make Mike Chang bury himself in a dumpster full of slushies. Or maybe jump from a diving board into the dumpster, just to fulfil the part about bruises that Gleeks like Kurt obtained when thrown into aforementioned dumpster.

Mike and Tina stepped up to the front of the choir room. "Give it your best," said Mr. Schue. "What are you going to sing?" Tina giggled and blushed, but Mike smiled. "We're going to sing 'Hello' by Lionel Ritchie," he replied. This only served to make Rachel more offended. This was her song! This belonged to her and Jesse from Vocal Adrenaline. Mike and Tina had no right at all to steal it! She felt her face redden with anger, even though she had already broken up with Jesse St. James. She clutched her sheet music protectively as Mike looked at Tina and began to sing.

She resisted the urge to stand up and stomp out of the room as Finn entered the choir room, mumbling an excuse something to do with football practice ran late (then why were Puck and Mike already here then?) and sat down beside her. Mr. Schue had been partially right: There was no denying that Mike and Tina were stellar soloists in their own right, especially Mike. In fact, they were so good that they threatened to be, well, better than her. Which Rachel definitely did not appreciate however much it would increase New Directions' chances of winning Sectionals, and possibly, Nationals. Instead, she concentrated her 'Evil Berry Gaze' on Mike, wishing that he would shrivel up into a crisp and disappear from the world altogether, dragging Tina along with him. Tina was a great Gleek, and she was a nice girl, but Rachel Berry didn't like anyone, no matter how nice they were, if they threatened her position as Queen of Glee.

Anyway, she realised with a start, they had broken the rules! The assignment was to sing a love song, not a duet, and they were unfairly stealing her crown. She hissed that to Finn, who looked nonchalantly clueless, as usual. Mr. Schue looked visibly impressed by Mike and Tina's vocals, and she could see the words forming on his lips: "OK, Mike and Tina will do a duet at Sectionals!" Rachel knew that losing a solo, any solo, might be detrimental to her future legendary career as a Broadway star, and she felt rage boil up inside her. She wished she could slap Mike across the face and make that horrible nose crack and fall off. Yes, Rachel Berry could be violent if she wanted to.

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**So, how was it? We actually had twice this amount written, but since we kinda write horribly, I decided to post one part of it first to see what the response would be like. Oh, and sorry about the Spanish. Carmen speaks Spanish, but I have no idea how good it is, so yeah. I was actually going to put in some Chinese too, since Mike is, like, Chinese, and so are me and Carmen, but... Okay, so now I'm supposed to tell you guys to review and all. Uh, review! They would make our day. Like, really. :D**


	2. Déjà Vu

**Hello again! It's Lea again... hehe. Okay, so I've got some things to say:**

**1. Thank you for the reviews (: And yes, obsessivepottercullendisorder (did I spell that right? :O), we are 13. Keke :D**

**2. Okay, so the totally random review reading '...' was posted by Carmen, who wanted to be smart and review her own story. Except, it now looks out of place and slightly unappreciative towards the other PROPER reviewers. -glares at Carmen- So, sorry about that! I can't delete reviews, so ."**

**3. Me and Carmen have got this really major exam coming up next week and the week after, so even though we've written the chapters, we may not post a new chapter every day or so. Maybe once every two or three days? But I can tell you this: the following Tuesday, our exams will be all over, and my mum is giving me as much computer time as I want. (Yes, we are 13, which is why my mum controls my computer time D:)**

**4. Title change! Sorry again. At first, when I asked Carmen what our title should be on Facebook chat, she replied 'extermination in spanish!', which I assumed the title to be 'Extermination in Spanish' literally. Actually, she meant that the title should be 'Extermination', except the Spanish word for 'Extermination'. So this fic's name is now Exterminio! -cue dramatic music- :D**

**All right, so we've got that all cleared up, and on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I don't even own the computer (Carmen does, though.). How on earth do I own Glee, then?**

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When Mike and Tina had finally finished singing, Rachel had already managed to turn purple. Mr. Schue and the rest of the Glee Club, however, began clapping loudly. Rachel listened intently to the applause, trying to find out whether they clapped harder for her or for Mike and Tina. She concluded that she had garnered greater applause from the audience, but Mike and Tina were fast overtaking her. This was their first duet! Remembering the Great Spanish Fiasco, Rachel felt a growing sense of déjà vu. Hell, even Kurt was cheering Mike on even after Mike had bullied him! Well, somewhere, deep down in her heart, a tiny part of her knew that Matt and Mike always used to disappear mysteriously during the football team's dumpster throwing incidents, but she didn't really care.

Rachel thought for some time, with her Evil Berry Gaze on. It was extremely tiring, but you needed to overcome laziness if you wanted to become a Broadway star (or so Rachel thought.) Mr. Schue began ranting on about emotional depth and voice quality and things that Rachel had already mastered when she was four. After all, it was important to get a competitive edge over her peers, some of which would undoubtedly be fighting for the lead Broadway roles. Rachel closed her eyes, and she could just see the statues with her name on it. The cameras were flashing and the awards were all lined up in her special award room. She could just see the fans and the autographs and everyone applauding for her. Well, almost. There was one thing that would potentially stop her from reaching the great heights she deserved – Mike Chang. Oh, and perhaps his crony, Tina. But Tina she didn't worry about as much. Tina wasn't the one who was overtaking her in Spanish (and possibly every other subject).

After Glee Club was over, she approached Mike outside the choir room (déjà vu!). This time, Mike looked tiredly at her. "What is it this time?" he asked her, apparently trying to get it over with so he could make out with Tina, who was standing near them looking impatient. Or so Rachel liked to think. Rachel took in a deep breath (to convey her heightened state of emotions) and started speaking in a loud, bossy rant. "Michael, I watched your performance very intently just now and I think you have the potential to be one of the soloists at Sectionals. In fact, I care so much for the club that I am willing to sacrifice my personal time and effort so as to give you lessons and guidance that will help New Directions win Sectionals."

"Then what about me? Mr. Schue said we were going to duet together," interjected Tina, giving Rachel a Don't-You-Dare-Steal-My-Handsome-Dancing-Mike-Chang-Or-I-Will-Take-Your-Sequinned-Leg-Warmers-Hostage-And-Hijack-Your-Future-Slushie-Truck look. It was nearly as terrifying as her Evil Berry look, Rachel realised. Note to self: Improve evilness of Evil Berry look. Rachel, who had not prepared for this, looked slightly taken aback, but remembering her lessons on poise in answering reporters' questions, immediately replied, "Well, I think that you already sing well, Michael is the one who needs guidance. You're welcome to drop in, but I think we need some privacy so he can concentrate."

Mike looked delighted that, firstly, Tina was taking ownership of him, but slightly disgruntled that Rachel thought that his singing needed brushing up on. "So, how about tomorrow afternoon?" asked Rachel, knowing with glee (pun intended) that Mike would agree. After all, he was a popular football player, and she knew that the jocks and Cheerios in Glee were forever trying to get Glee Club's status in the social circle of McKinley High up so that they wouldn't be so embarrassed to be in Glee, and winning Nationals might let them fulfil their extremely materialistic dream for the club. She smiled expectantly, and, not to anyone's surprise, he agreed. Tina looked slightly suspicious, but she didn't say anything (partly due to the Evil Berry Glare) and Rachel's plans were working perfectly.

Well, not exactly. Right after Mike and Tina had departed, Puck approached with a large grape slushie and threw it in Rachel's face, leaving her momentarily shocked, but, as shown earlier, she was used to it. She took a moment to lick her lips and eat as much grape slushie as she could, why, she was sure that Noah showered her with grape slushie as he knew she loved grape, before proceeding to the washroom, her new yellow top stained purple, to change into some new clothes. The only problem was that the only change of clothes she had left was a purple pantsuit, so she had to change her favourite skirt too. Muttering something about a slushie plane, she washed off her face and then re-applied her pink lip gloss. After all, a star must look her best at all times.

The next day, Rachel Berry entered William McKinley High with a strengthened resolve to crush Mike Chang. Quinn Fabray approached with a slushie, and Rachel put a hand on her bag and looked resignedly at Quinn, who stared puzzled back at her. "Hey, Puck bought me this. I'm not wasting it on you!" Quinn resumed sipping her slushie, leaving Rachel quite relieved and a little disappointed, for some reason. After all, she wanted to change into her pink knit cardigan, which her fathers told her did not match with her plaid skirt, and so wouldn't let her wear out of the house. Sometimes, having two gay dads was frustrating. It was like living with two old Kurts. Rachel shuddered at the thought of living with Kurt. She walked on past Puck and his gang of rowdy football players, who were tossing Kurt into a dumpster. They tossed him into a dumpster every day, and Rachel thought he deserved it for actually applauding for Mike and Tina. Of course, he couldn't have done much else, but Mike and Tina totally sucked. They sucked more than Santana making out with Brittany, which Rachel was forced to witness as she walked into the entrance. Seriously, what was wrong with them? They had boyfriends, and they just had to kiss each other. Were they that deprived of make out sessions with their boyfriends?

Finn was staring at the wall with his usual stoned look. "What are you doing, Finn?" asked Rachel, plastering a Miss-Universe-worthy smile on her face. Finn looked at her with his usual surprised look, and then tightened his grip on his backpack. He was so tall, that he threatened to stick his head right through the ceiling and into the girls' bathroom (which was right above where he was standing), so he was always slouching. Rachel disapproved of that habit, though she did not want Finn to be dragging his large head through layers of concrete every time he walked, freaking out a lot of people, so she just ignored him and flounced off to Math class.

Math class was boring, but not so much with Santana and Brittany behind her (again!) They appeared to be doodling on something which did not concern Rachel (but, well, everything concerned Rachel). She turned around to see what they were writing. They were drawing on a picture of Finn! Determined to 'defend her boyfriend's honour', Rachel snatched the drawing away. "Hey!" said Brittany. "I'm not done with the beard!"

"You have no right to deface the picture of a great singer and football player like Finn!" hissed Rachel. The Math teacher was in the Teachers' Lounge, probably making out with the janitor or Principal Figgins, and the class was extremely rowdy. Santana rolled her eyes and snatched the picture back. "Hello, Puck is so much cooler than him now. I mean, Finn's dating you. He's losing his popularity, and you know it."

Rachel felt her cheeks redden. "Stop taking it out on him!" She snatched the picture back and held –more like hugged- it. "Just because you got dumped by Puck for Quinn doesn't mean you can insult Finn. Also, just because you cheated on Brittany for, uh, Tina doesn't mean-"Rachel was making all this up and improvising, and she actually enjoyed the look on Santana and Brittany's faces. "What?" asked Brittany. "San, is that true?" Santana looked scandalised. "Of course not!" She ripped the picture in half after grabbing it from Rachel's tight embrace. "I'll make you pay for this."

Rachel turned around and sank back into her chair, feeling a tad deflated. She had started the day full of confidence, but now she doubted her abilities when it came to crisis management. A great Broadway star had to learn how to manage people and troublesome co-stars, and Rachel Berry lacked this ability for now. Well, whatever. She just had to keep honing her vocal talents and all the fame would come to her. Right? Right?

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**How was it? I know, it's really short. We've got Chapter 3 written already, but not Chapter 4, so I think we will finish Chapter 4 before we post Chapter 3. Also, exams! So don't expect us to update as fast as this all the time... Sorry. Uh, review! It would help boost my (Carmen is overconfident. Like, seriously.) confidence for the exam, which sadly includes English, Science, Math _and _Chinese. -shudders- (:**


	3. The Assignment

**Helloh ^^ So, my mum told me to stop studying. Like, whaaaaat? Hehe. So we decided to post this chapter extra early (I was actually gonna post it the following day XD) And I'm going to fail English. Carmen isn't, though. I can't wait for the fourth Glee Season 2 episode, 'Duets'. I think it would be really interesting, everyone singing with their, uh, lovers? Romantic partners? Ah heck. Onward!**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, we own Glee. -rolls eyes-  
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The next day, Rachel arrived at the choir room early, to inform Mike about the details of her vocal lessons she would be giving him. Instead, she walked in to see Mike and Tina having a full-on make out session. "Ahem!" Rachel impatiently cleared her throat. To her satisfaction, Mike and Tina immediately pulled away from each other, blushing. "Err, hi Rachel. What are you doing here?" Mike asked awkwardly, straightening his checkered shirt nervously. _I'm the Queen of Checkered Clothing! First you threaten my crown as Queen of Spanish, and then Queen of Glee, and now even checkered clothes?_ Rachel thought indignantly, before plastering a fake smile on her face, something that came easily to her after years and years of acting lessons (Broadway career essential!). "Well, Mike, I am here to talk to you about your vocal lessons!" She said brightly, subconsciously wondering if she was wearing her lucky checkered skirt that day. Tina jabbed her boyfriend in the gut expectantly, her black hair streaked with orange swinging over her shoulder. "Ouch! Tee!" Mike rubbed his side, before continuing, "OK. When do we, err, start?"

_That boy has stutter problems too, like Tina! Except he's probably not faking it._ Rachel carried on with her bright smile that 'could cure cancer', her cheekbones already slightly exhausted from smiling too widely. "Tomorrow, my house! 4pm? We can work out the other sessions then," she informed Mike. Tina looked suspiciously at Rachel. After all, how often was Rachel nice to someone who was potentially her rival? However, Tina decided to stay silent and see what would happen. Oh, and no way was that diva stealing her boyfriend. Of course, that wasn't much of a threat, given Rachel's personality and status, but better safe than sorry. Mike nodded, Tina still latched onto his arm.

Just then, the rest of the Gleeks started to flood into the choir room, along with Mr. Schuester. "Alright, guys! I have a new assignment for you! This week, your assignment is to sing something that describes your partner and what you have learnt about him or her," Mr. Schue clapped his hands together, unknowingly dropping a bombshell on the flabbergasted Gleeks. "But, Mr. Schue, we get to choose our own partners, right? But wouldn't we, like, already know everything about them?" Santana didn't even bother to raise her hand! Rachel glared at the fallen head cheerleader. Manners were very important for a Broadway star, and if New Directions wanted to have any chance of placing at Sectionals they needed to be alert and poised at all times. Santana's lack of etiquette was inexcusable!

Mr. Schuester pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. "Ah, Santana, but I have already chosen your partners for you!" A chorus of 'Aww!'s echoed throughout the choir room. Rachel observed Finn cringe as he remembered how that had turned out last time. Of course, as a successful person, Rachel Berry could not afford to live in the past (not that anything she had done had been even close to disastrous!) but when you were great, you had to forgive the little slips that less successful and well-trained people made.

"Quinn, you're with Santana! Puck, you are with Tina. Artie, you've got Brittany," Mr. Schue continued reading from his list of doom, "And finally, Rachel, you're with Mike!" Rachel gasped inwardly. There was no way she was going to find out more about the boy who would potentially stop her from achieving stardom and worldwide recognition! Why, that was against her own Rachel Berry rule number #394: Never fraternise with the enemy for good purposes! Rachel crossed her arms over herself, muttering to herself about keeping calm and the slushie dumpster. If Mike made the performance a disaster…or worse, overshadowed her… Rachel coughed violently at the very thought, earning a suspicious look from Mr. Schue. How could Mike Chang, a lowly football player, overshadow the phenomenon that was Rachel Berry?

Well, he could sing. Rachel shuddered at the thought of having to share the spotlight with a threat like Mike Chang. Of course, he wasn't much of a threat, given her talent and position, but better safe than sorry! Unbeknownst to her, however, she wasn't the only one shuddering. Tina was shuddering so hard that her orange highlights threatened to fly across the room and sock Rachel in the face (not that it would be such a bad thing if that happened, really). Being insecure, Tina had always wondered whether Mike was cheating on her, and now opportunities for less-than-faithful behaviour were as abundant as Artie's pimples. Speaking of Artie, his face now looked like someone had held a blowtorch to it and tried to write Braille. He had given up all hopes of showbiz or life in general after Tina, and now he was just moping around. The breakup had taken some time to hit him, but damn, it had hit him hard.

Rachel had also noticed this, and frowned upon this unprofessional behaviour. A star had better things to do than, well, 'mope around'. It was lonely at the top, and anyone who wanted to be the alpha needed to be lonely, especially if you were the head Cheerio, in which case, well, you did need to be lonely or you might get pregnant. Rachel tossed a contemptuous glance at Quinn Fabray as she thought that, while feeling a slight bit guilty for diverting a little of her anger from Mike. _Mike Chang is a threat. Mike Chang must be eliminated so as to allow me, the obvious righteous star, to hog the obvious righteous solos. Mike Chang must…_Rachel looked up in mid-thought to see Mike tapping her shoulder.

"Damn!" mumbled Rachel, now straining to keep her award-winning Not-So-Evil-On-The-Outside-But-Actually-Very-Evil-Berry-Smile on her face. Mike looked confused. "What?" Rachel merely upped her charm (which was questionable, but as long as she was confident…) and shook her head. "Oh, nothing," she replied. "So, Mike, it's very nice to be working with…you!"

"Yeah," conceded Mike. "I didn't think you'd take it this easy, you know…Well, uh, I mean, you love solos, and I don't want to steal them from you, but, well, team first, right? Um…" Mike's speech impediment was getting more and more irritating. Why couldn't the world be 'uhh' free? It was the most horrible sound that she had ever heard in her entire life, particularly as it, well, came from Mike Chang. "Oh, New Directions is my first priority, Michael. We all have to be good team players…sometimes." The last word was particularly soft, and Rachel was not sure that Mike had heard it, given his lack of hearing. He should join Aural Intensity or something. Or, even better, that deaf kids choir. I mean, I don't hate deaf people, but Broadway demands perfection! Absolute Mike-Chang-less perfection!

Rachel Berry watched as Mike sat down next to her and took out some sheet music. "Well, Rachel, I think that we need to hang out together. Like, just an afternoon or something. That's how we'll get to know each other. We could have dinner together or something. What do you think? Uh, yeah, I know Tee's kinda possessive and stuff, but I think she'll be fine since this is for Glee Club, right? Team spirit!" Rachel eyed him with barely disguised contempt, but composed herself, smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I think we need to get together, but I'd rather keep it more on the music front. We could have our first voice lesson too!"

"Yeah, that sounds great, Rachel," replied Mike, his hand through his hair like some football player. Oh, please. That was Finn's total signature move. Rachel wasn't crazy about Finn like some hot-headed cheerleader, but since they were dating, Rachel made it a point to record down everything he did in her personal journal she liked to call the Berry Book so that she could show it to him when they got married. Of course, that would be some time in the future, due to the demands of starting a successful and excellent Broadway career, but Rachel was confident (like she was about all other things, no surprises here) that Finn would always love her. After all, she was irresistible.

Except to the cheerleaders and other jocks, as could be seen. Just as Rachel and Mike had agreed on four in the afternoon the next day at Rachel's house, Santana the ex-head-cheerleader approached her, slushie in hand. "Wait up, Cherry," sneered Santana, holding the slushie tauntingly. Rachel looked shocked. "Oh, Mike's still Tina's," she informed Santana. "And that slushie's still yours, so don't give it to me, because I really don't like blueberry."

"Shut up," hissed Santana. "I'm not throwing the slushie at you." Rachel looked relieved, but that was before Santana took out a carton of milk and tossed it all over Rachel. "Hey!" protested the latter, but Santana had already sauntered out of the choir room, followed by her Cheerio entourage and Puck. Rachel Berry ran into the girls' bathrooms, feeling extremely insulted and actually hoping that Finn would stick his head up into the bathroom and help her clean up. Finn, however, was nowhere to be found (no surprise there, as usual) and Rachel had to sop up the foul-smelling milk herself. It was good for your bones, but not your face, and Rachel was terrified of acne. After all, it might clog her pores.

_So I'm thinking like Kurt now. Eww._ As much as Kurt was an excellent Gleek, he really didn't have the va-va-voom factor needed to succeed. Rachel looked around at the other people in the bathroom, who were Brittany, some other pregnant girl (was William McKinley a breeding ground?) and Santana. Brittany was re-applying her lip gloss, and Rachel subconsciously took out her own. She applied it much more quickly than Brittany (who was using 'smoothen my lip gloss' as an excuse to kiss Santana, who was enjoying it very much) and strode out of the bathroom. It has been a very interesting day. I will have to record this in my Berry Book, thought Rachel, as she formulated plans for a milk dumpster filled with milk-flavoured slushies (which didn't exist, but, well, neither did the slushie truck. Or maybe it did…how else would they get all those slushies?). After all, Rachel Berry was just bursting with ideas, mostly including items such as slushie trucks and milk slushies.

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**Seriously, I think our chapters have been getting shorter and shorter. So sorry! Chapter Four is being written as I type this, quite literally. Oh, and wish us luck for the exams! Thank you for the lovely reviews too :3 Keep reviewing! I smile when I see them (though Carmen probably looks at them with her goldfish eyes and goes, what? People actually read our fic? That's actually what she said when the first review came in. :D**


	4. Vocal Lesson

**Oh my gosh, so sorry for the wait! We kind of got sidetracked by another fic, and then I went overseas (screw hotels with no free wi-fi D:), and Carmen kept procrastinating (so did I, heh) so this update was supposed to be longer... I THINK it is... Oh, and this chapter was almost entirely written on Carmen's iPad and my iTouch XD We love Apple, don't we, Carmen? -nudges- Haha sorry, inside joke. Carmen wrote most of the Rachel bits and I wrote the Mike bits, because she's so much like Rachel, it's scary, so it's easier for her. Me, Mike's easier to write. Okay, now I'm rambling. Sorry again for the wait!**

**Disclaimer: We don't own Glee! Someone else does. I forgot who.  
**

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Mike Chang was confused. Like, Brittany kind of confused. He didn't understand why the mixed up personality that was called Rachel Berry was blowing hot and cold on him – first, being so cruel towards him, then totally fake-smiling at him and being fake-nice to him. He wasn't that stupid, you know, not to detect all the pretence that Rachel practically radiated with her every move. In fact, he was in all AP classes, but he didn't dare to tell Rachel that. Why, it was bad enough after she discovered that he had transferred into her advanced Spanish class in _Junior Year_. (He had seen her in the library, huffily switching the computer off after doing research on him on the school website. What was she anyway, a stalker?) It satisfied Mike to stay unnoticed at the back of Rachel's classes, quietly doing his own work and pretending to be dumb, just like other football players.  
Except other football players really were dumb, with the exception of Matt, of course. Matt Rutherford had been Mike's best friend since they were ten, when he moved from Costa Rica to Lima, and now that Matt had transferred because of his dad getting some job in Chicago or something, Mike felt sort of lonely. This was why he had started sticking with Tina recently, not really because she was his girlfriend. Tina was a nice girl, really, but she was a little... possessive at times. God, he missed Costa Rica.

Mike looked disgustedly at some bunch of skater kids lingering around his house. "妈妈，我回家了！" (1) He hollered to his mum in Chinese, opening the door to his house. It wasn't really a _home _anyway, just a house, ever since his dad accepted some job here in Lima to research antelopes or moose or some other shit. Back in Costa Rica, the Chang family had had a nice house, glass windows, friendly neighbours and all, and of course, music. In Costa Rica, it was okay to sing and dance. In fact, all the popular kids got popular by singing and dancing, not kicking their legs up and wearing short short skirts in the 'sport' that was called cheerleading or throwing a ball around in rugby either. Apparently, it was not okay in Lima to sing and dance. It was either you were a popular jock/cheerleader, or you were an enthusiastic loser like Rachel Berry (Not that she was enthusiastic about being a loser, of course, but you get what he meant.)

He didn't exactly think that Rachel was a loser, but the other football players seemed to. Her overenthusiastic and diva personality was extremely confusing to Mike, and it wasn't often that he couldn't figure something out. The last time he scored higher than Rachel on a Chemistry test (he'd heard her whispering to Mercedes about her 'amazing' mark), he thought he was doomed. Like, fall-off-a-cliff-into-a-bottomless-pit kind of doomed. He heard about how terrifying Rachel's wrath was if you were even a tiny bit better than her, and didn't really want to die. It was a relief to Mike when the bell rang before the Chemistry teacher could announce the highest scores, and everyone dashed out of the classroom, including Rachel, to do god-knows-what. "佳明，你的午餐在桌上！＂(2) He faintly heard his mother call from somewhere upstairs. Why did she always have to speak Chinese? Even worse, his Chinese name sucked. Jia Ming? Seriously? It apparently meant 'intelligent' or something. Just great. Mike flopped down on the couch, digging into the char siew and ha gao left there by his mother for lunch, pushing away his thoughts. Never mind Rachel or Chinese, food first!

Rachel looked at the piece of paper in her left hand, then at her cell phone in her right hand. She then switched them around. Would it seem inappropriate to call Mike? She wanted to call him to confirm the date, like a true professional always did, but was Mike worthy of her unwavering professionalism? She put down the number (and the phone), then picked the phone back up and decided to call Finn instead, on second thoughts. She always had his number on speed dial, just in case (of what, she didn't know) and she smiled as she heard his hello, in a very Terri Schuester way.

"Oh, hi, Rachel. Sorry, but I'm busy working on my Glee assignment with Merce."

"Merce?" asked Rachel, completely befuddled and feeling as stupid as Kurt walking around butt naked in the girls' bathroom. "You mean Mercedes." She felt immensely pleased with herself for being able to decipher Finn's crazy 'Jock Talk', which usually consisted of grunting noises or incoherent phrases strung together in an attempt to sound complete.

"Yeah, whatever, Rach…Listen, Merce and I need uninterrupted practice, 'cause I kinda suck at this, and she's got an awesome voice, so, I'll call you back or something…" Finn said vaguely before hanging up. Rachel sat on her bed, phone still in hand, feeling a little abandoned. Finn, like everyone else in that wormhole also known as William McKinley High, spoke with so many strange noises that it would sound horrible if he were on a professional voice recording for a play or something. The fact that her boyfriend had just shunned her in favour of Mercedes hurt even more, what was she, a disposable girlfriend?

The next day, Rachel Berry entered William McKinley High with new energy. She was refreshed from a good night's sleep, accompanied with the best Broadway hits played softly on the radio, and she was feeling like Quinn after the birth – perfect – and it showed in her skin (or so she thought, but Rachel Berry always had great confidence in her skin, which she was convinced was good enough to be on television or the big screen).

Finn was, again, nowhere to be seen (déjà vu!) and Brittany was separated from Santana (not so déjà vu). The former appeared to be quite lost and was wearing a large red wig. "Excuse me, Brittany, but that wig looks terrible on you." Brittany looked up at Rachel mournfully. "Oh, me and San broke up. I bought a wig and called it Santana." Rachel did not know whether to be surprised that Brittany could actually keep a clear stream of thought and have the sufficient vocabulary to buy a wig and name it Santana, or that Brittany and Santana had broken up. They were in love! However much Rachel was not a fan of the whole bisexual thing (even though her dads were gay), which made her a little homophobic (being a snob and all), she wondered if Finn and her would last. Santana and Brittany were so permanent that their make-out sessions had become a trademark of William McKinley scenery. It was like the Eiffel Tower or something – unmistakable.

Well, not really. Rachel spotted Mercedes walking with Kurt (Thank God it wasn't Finn.) and waved at them. They seemed to ignore her, which was strange, since they were fellow social outcasts. Santana glared at Rachel as she walked past and half-heartedly threw a milk carton at her. However, her aim was so bad for once that Rachel was able to dodge it easily and the milk sprayed onto Brittany instead. Santana didn't seem to mind, however, so Rachel just smiled and felt lucky. She was worried that the new trend was 'Mushies' (milk slushies), but at least they were so difficult to aim that she would be hit less.

"Mike!" she greeted brightly when she saw the Asian football player slouching by the main door, backpack in hand. He was wearing his usual checkered shirt. Of course, he was also wearing slacks (Rachel cringed to imagine Mike walking around pant-less) but the clearly copied checkered style caught Rachel's attention. "Look! We match!" Rachel was also wearing a checkered skirt. "Now, if you wear my skirt, then you'll be all checkered!" Mike stared at her weirdly, seeing as she seemed to be very excited over the prospect of Mike walking around in a preppy skirt that was probably too small for him anyway. Mike felt so curious about this that he decided to look at Rachel's skirt to check whether he'd actually be able to fit into it just as Tina came walking by. Uh oh.

"Uh, Mike?" asked Tina. "Why are you staring at Rachel's ass?"

"What?" asked Mike, shocked. "I'm not staring at Rachel's butt! I'm just staring at the skirt-This is not what it looks like- I was just curious as to whether…uh…" He wondered if he should admit that he was trying to see if her skirt fit him. His hesitation and admittance that he had indeed been staring at Rachel's lower half was met with extreme disgust and anger by Tina. "You shouldn't even be staring at Rachel!"

"Excuse me," said Rachel, who had become completely nauseous at this conversation regarding her butt. "As a future Broadway star, it is expected that many people will be staring at my butt, as I will be the most famous singer that ever lived. However, I assure you, Tina, that Mike was not staring at my butt. Can I go now? Because there's milk on the floor here and I might slip and injure myself, then I won't be able to do my ballet recital next week, which is essential for my portfolio to get into Julliard." Tina looked extremely pissed at the weird, unexpected turn of events. She scowled at Rachel and then launched into a furious tirade at Mike about how he kept staring at other girls in a Puck-like way.

Extremely unnerved, Rachel meandered off into her first class, which was English. English was really boring as Finn wasn't in it (he was in a different class) and Santana was sitting right behind her. Why did Santana always end up sitting somewhere behind her? Santana seemed to be trying to get everyone to ignore Brittany or throw Mushies at her, which Rachel refused to take part in. As a future celebrity, she had to learn how to support rightful causes and speak out against wrong causes, like, well, Jock Talk. To her horror, the strange nerd that usually sat beside her had suffered a mental breakdown and escaped into a psychiatric hospital (or so rumours said), and so the feared school reporter, Jacob Ben Israel slid into the seat beside her.

"Can you sit somewhere else?" asked Rachel hopefully.

"Can I have another pair of underwear?" asked Jacob, his mass of hair puffing up like that ash cloud over Europe that kept getting larger the other time.

"Definitely not," replied Rachel, preparing herself to endure the hideous blogger for the rest of the lesson. She was excellent at English, no doubt due to the number of brilliant Broadway plays she had read from age three, while everyone was still smashing their heads into their cereal and sleeping and reading Captain Underpants. She had also read the biography of almost every single Broadway legend. She only read those of the female legends, though, because they were the true stars.  
She heard a weird noise and turned to see Jacob writing 'Rachel Berry's Panties' on his worksheet where he was supposed to write his name. "Erase that now!" Rachel felt horrified at the atrocity that Jacob was scribbling on the blank.

"I write it on every worksheet!" he replied adoringly, kissing the word 'Panties' and caressing the name.

Rachel felt like dying. Suicidal thoughts were unhealthy, but it was nearly impossible not to be suicidal if you were sitting next to the likes of Jacob Ben Israel. She pitied his parents (whoever they were) but at the same time, felt a sense of loathing towards them for bringing such a pest into the wonderful Broadway-filled world of Rachel Berry. She liked to refer to herself in the third person sometimes, seeing as that was what Julius Caesar did, and he was the best dramatic stab victim of all time. Rachel Berry sighed, and then resigned herself to sitting next to Jew-fro, as the jocks and cheerleaders called Jacob. For God's sake, she would even rather have Mike Chang sitting next to her, Broadway career harmer and all, because then she could nitpick at his horrible English (or so Rachel hoped) and that would throw him off and knock him down a few notches. Thankfully, she would be able to do so soon, today afternoon in fact, at vocal lessons! Rachel realised with a start. She could show that Mike Chang who the real star was, and get him, the tiny blip marring her career, out of her life once and for all. Yes, that was what she was going to do, and nothing would get in her way. Nothing.

After school ended, Rachel bounded back home. Her house was beautiful, of course, with stained glass windows and a pretty front porch adorned with her favourite flowers. Her dads were quite rich, and could afford a house like this. She shuddered to think about what kind of hellholes her classmates as fellow Glee clubbers lived in. Thank god Mike was coming to her house, and not the other way round! As usual, she was alone at home. Her dads had gone on a business trip to San Francisco, and wouldn't be back till the week after. The whole house was hers.

After getting herself a bottle of isotonic water to refresh herself, Rachel Berry sat down on her baby pink sofa dotted with cute little gold stars, mentally planning the session with Mike later. Mike would definitely arrive thinking that they would spend the afternoon singing and stuff, but she was instead going to come down hard on the aspect all football players lacked in: the academic aspect. Of course, Rachel was already impeccable in the academic area, but Mike wasn't...or so she assumed. The whole Spanish thing was just a fluke, right? Right? Yes. However, this would mean she would have to call Mike, something that she had previously avoided doing. Desperate times called or desperate measures, though! Think of fame... Broadway... becoming a star... Rachel motivated herself as she picked up the phone.

Moments later, Rachel hung up, satisfied with herself. Mike had picked up the phone, slightly dazed but clearly... uh, clear-headed enough to agree to her request. In five minutes, Mike was going to arrive at her doorstep with a stack of tests, or not. After all, football players were messy, and Rachel could not be sure that Mike could manage to find all the papers. Rachel herself kept all her tests in a large binder, ready for submission to Julliard as her flawless portfolio that would cause the admission staff to gasp in excitement at her application and accept her immediately. Well, her dream was a little far-fetched, but after all, nothing was impossible! Now, all she had to do was wait. And hope... for the worst.

Mike put the phone down with a sigh. Bring all his tests? Seriously? Was Rachel joking? Nonetheless, he trudged over to his desk, muttering as many profanities as he could remember under his breath in as many languages as he could. Giving yet another sigh, he pulled out his file marked 'TESTS' in his mother's clear handwriting and shoved it under his arm. Luckily, his neat freak mother had filed all his tests away... Mike shook his head. He sounded like a mummy's boy! Really, he needed to start filing his own tests. He pulled out his phone to see two new texts waiting for him just before he left. 'Text from: Tina Cohen-Chang. Text from: Rachel Berry.' his phone screen read. He opened the one from Rachel first, feeling a little guilty. An address flashed up in front of him. So, Rachel had texted him her address. He knew exactly where her house was (just two blocks away) and exited the message, pushing the phone into his pocket. Mike headed out of his house, tests in hand, having completely forgotten about Tina's text. Looks like someone is going to be in trouble here!

"Why, hello, Michael! Please, come in!" Rachel opened the door with her cheeriest grin to see Mike standing there looking rather awkward. He nodded wordlessly, walking into the house. Rachel shut the door, notching that he had a file under his arm that looked a little like her own. Wait, an organized football player? She let her shock show for a second, then composed herself. Now, she was going to lead Mike to the living room, and she was going to open that file and nitpick at the horrible results. Yes, she felt alot better now.

"So, here's what we're going to do. I'm going to look through your academic results, and then I will determine whether you are good enough, academically wise, to take on the well-balanced Rachel Berry's vocal lessons!" Rachel felt extremely proud of herself, for doing two things: one, managing to compliment herself and two, referring to herself in third person, just like Julius Caesar! She beamed at a dazed looking Mike (really, he was going to become a second Finn or Brittany if he kept being confused all the time!), who simply handed over the blue file by his side on the sofa. Rachel noted that the brand was even the same as her own, why, the only difference was the colour! Was Mike a copier, or did he just think like her? First checkered clothing, now files? Rachel grabbed the file and placed it on her lap. Mike shoved his hands into his pockets, now looking rather out of place. He then settled on staring at the weird painting near the dining room. It was a mixture of blue, red, yellow and green hues, and below it a label read 'Rachel: The Star'. Was that supposed to be Rachel? He squinted at the painting, then at the real person, trying to see the similarity. There were none that he could find, though.

Rachel opened the file. _First test: Biology, A+. Literature, A. French, A. Chemistry, A+__._Rachel felt like rubbing her eyes to make sure there was nothing wrong with her eyesight. These results were almost identical to her own! She continued flipping. _Spanish, A+. English, A+. Mathematics, B+. _She managed to crack a small smile at the last grade. She remembered that she had scored an A on that one, a whole two grades higher! Her smile faded as she turned to the last Chemistry test. She recalled whispering to Mercedes about how she was the highest in class with an A- (everyone else seemed to have gotten Cs and lower), and now this football player, a football player, managed an A+? Impossible! (Which sort of contradicted her last statement about how nothing was impossible, but she tried not the think about that.) Rachel could practically feel smoke pouring out of her ears as she fumed. She snapped the file shut loudly.

"Why don't we start on vocal lessons now?" Rachel gritted her teeth as she restrained herself from something - whether it was bursting into tears or screaming at the top of her voice, she did not know. And also, could not tell. Maybe it was both.

"Uhm, okay...?" Mike was extremely befuddled (as he often was around Rachel) as to why she had suddenly turned from nice and friendly to angry and fuming. Were his results not good enough or something? Or -even worse- were they better than hers? He shivered as the last thought crossed his mind. He didn't want to die!

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**Abrupt ending, we know. And here are the translations!**

**(1) 妈妈，我回家了！- Mum, I'm home!**

**(2) 佳明，你的午餐在桌上！- Jia Ming, your lunch is on the table!**

**I find it so fun to incorporate Chinese into the story XD Or maybe I'm just weird. Oh well. Chapter 5 coming up... soon, we hope!  
**


	5. The Trouble with Misunderstandings

**Hi again! We were sidetracked AGAIN (Me with my side project fics, also posted on this account, and Carmen with her sickness. My excuse is so much more glamorous XD) but here it is! Chapter 5! I also realised that me and Carmen's styles are extremely different when we do solo projects (Me - angst/tragedy with a hint of horror, Carmen - crack/humour/romance). But I don't care, lol.**

**Disclaimer: Who owns Glee, anyway? I still can't remember who.  
**

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The thing about Rachel Berry was that she _always _had her phone on vibrate mode, no matter what. She kept it on silent during school, unlike most other students, and was just too (dare she say it?) lazy to turn it off silent mode when she got back from school. There, she said it! Hence, Rachel wasn't surprised at all when a strange buzzing noise was suddenly emitted from the chair she was sitting on. Mike, however, was. He jumped a little in his seat, startled by the odd sound. Did Rachel just… give off gas? No, duh. Rachel smiled happily as she saw the caller ID, holding her hand up in a gesture that said '5 minutes' to a stunned Mike (déjà vu).

"Finny!" She greeted cheerfully. "You called!" Really, she was going to become a mini Terri Schuester if she kept this up.

On the other side of the line, Finn bit his lip. How was he going to break it to Rachel, especially when she sounded so…delighted (hey, he used a complex word!) to hear him call?

"Look, Rachel, I really like you, and you're really awesome, but...," Finn trailed off. This sounded like a repeat of his whole speech last year about finding himself and getting to know himself that had sent Rachel running into Jesse St. James' arms, which hadn't really gone well.

Rachel, on the other hand, started hyperventilating. _Not the B-word! Well, 'Berry' was fine, but not THAT B-word! _"Look Finn, I know it's not easy being my boyfriend, I'm not Quinn, I don't look like her, I'm not popular, and my personality although exciting and full of surprises, isn't exactly low maintenance." She started. Oh god, this was an exact replica of the whole Rachel-Finn breakup last year.

"What? No! This isn't about Quinn! She's with Sam, anyway, even if she is hotter than you… I said that aloud, didn't I?" Finn mentally slapped himself for always thinking aloud. "This isn't about me and Quinn! This isn't about me and you, either… it's about me and," Finn took a deep breath, "Mercedes."

Rachel gave out a shrill squeak. She felt like gagging, she was so nauseous. The day that Finn and Mercedes would be together, was the day that Rachel Berry gave up on her dream to become a Broadway star and instead opted to stay in Lima and operate Breadsticks,_ before _college! What would the Finn-Mercedes pairing be called, anyway? Fincedes? Finchel sounded _so _much better!

Mike felt especially bewildered as he watched the mini-show, aka Rachel Berry being dramatic, going on. What if she started crying? He could handle some things fine, but tears were not one of them. Oh dear.

"Look, Rachel, I'll come over with Merce now, okay? Rachel? Rach?" Finn tried saying into the phone, but Rachel had already hung up. Oh well, he was going to go over anyway.

Rachel clicked her phone off, her tiny sobs already turning into a fully-fledged bawling session. Mike looked at her, feeling terrified. In fact, he was more terrified than the time when he had accidentally worn his mom's underwear to school. Mike was slightly interested in how Rachel managed to hold her breath for minutes while screaming, even though the nauseous feeling in his stomach effectively quelled all interest whatsoever (or courage to move).

"Um, Rachel?" asked Mike, after about five minutes. "I think Finn really likes you, and he'll…uhh…just, don't feel sad, OK? I mean, you're not as hot as…uhh…but, still, you're really ambitious, and smart, and stuff…uhh…"

What happened next was absolutely crazy. Rachel wailed dramatically, then clutched Mike around the chest and proceeded to sob loudly and maniacally on his poor shoulder. "Um, OK," he muttered to himself, hugging her. After all, it was the right thing to do. He noticed that her hair smelled really nice, even though her head kept bobbing up and down with all her violent crying.

Meanwhile, Jacob Ben Israel and his Videocamera Guy were walking around, looking for interesting and completely untrue things to document. He must have been awfully lucky, because he saw two gold-ticket items to document, one being Finn and Mercedes walking on the street together. "Hey, Videocamera Guy! Quick!" hissed Jacob, and Videocamera Guy began videoing Finn and Mercedes walking together as Jacob whipped out his recorder and notepad and began documenting everything Finn and Mercedes did.

Videocamera Guy and Jacob Ben Israel used their much-practiced stealth and stalking abilities to follow Mercedes and Finn to Rachel's house. "In the name of Rachel Berry's Panties," gawked Jacob to Videocamera Guy, who was faithfully working his camera, "Are they going to have a foursome? Get to the window, quick!"

Once more, Jacob Ben Israel struck gold. He was greeted with a scene of Rachel and Mike embracing and her crying dramatically on his shoulder while he comforted her. Of course, Jacob changed this to 'Rachel Berry and Mike Chang were seen passionately touching each other as he whispered romantically in her ear and reassured her'. As Finn and Mercedes knocked on the door, Jacob had already whipped out his phone as was frantically updating his Twitter page. This story would make him the legend of William McKinley High School!

Mercedes knocked on the door and Finn folded his arms. Rachel was still sobbing in Mike's arms when he heard the knock. "Rachel, um, I'll have to go answer the door, OK? Damn…" With much effort, he disentangled Rachel's limp arms from his torso and got up to answer the door. Jacob noted down 'Shows signs of irritation at being separated from Rachel' in his notebook and then told the Videocamera Guy to zoom in on the encounter taking place at the front door.

"Oh, Finn, hey dude," greeted Mike.

"Is Rachel home?" asked Finn.

"I don't think she wants to see you right now, man…"

Finn swallowed, understanding. "Well, erm, take care of her, make sure she doesn't cut her wrists or something like that, and see you tomorrow at school, dude? C'mon, Merce, let's go…We'll give Rachel a little time to process, OK?"

Mercedes seemed fine. Mike rushed back to make sure Rachel had not thrown herself out of the window (not that it would kill her, as the house was not tall). Finn walked off with Mercedes, chatting animatedly. Rachel continued wailing. Videocamera Guy stood at the window, videoing Rachel and Finn while Jacob worked on his story. "Hey, Jacob," asked Videocamera Guy, after about half an hour of videoing the same thing, "Can we head back and organise the footage now?"

"Wait," replied Jacob. "Pass me the camera." He proceeded to take a picture (or pictures) of Rachel's butt. After about one hundred, the memory kind of exploded, and they had no choice but to go over to Jacob's and publish the newest story. "This is going to be genius," declared Jacob on his blog, right before he got to the 'juicy details'. He had completely twisted everything around, the way gossip was 'supposed to be' and he even included free footage samples on his blog.

The next day, Rachel marched into William McKinley High School without even combing her hair. She had pulled on a yellow jumper and jeans, and she looked like a mess as she went to get some books from her locker. What was strange, however, was that people kept giving her strange looks when they usually strode right past her. Attributing this to her unkempt and terrible appearance, she merely ignored their curious glances.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Tina pointing a manicured finger at Mike accusingly. "I broke up with Artie for you, and this is what you do to me? Go off with Berry Bitch? I can't take it anymore, Mike! I mean, the whole school knows about it! Couldn't you spare me some dignity, you philandering Puck? It's over between us!"

"Wha…?" gaped Mike. "But I didn't do anything!"

Rachel was interrupted by Santana, who was coming over to the locker besides hers to vandalise it with lipstick. "Gazing at Prince Charming, Bang? I mean, we've all seen the photos. And Jacob Ben Israel was kind enough to give us some free footage. Looks like you were getting it on pretty heavily with your man. I don't even know why he picked you, you're such a slut. See you in Glee, Berry Bitch."

Berry Bitch? Rachel whipped out her iPhone and checked the gossip blog quickly. Oh, she was going to KILL that Jacob Ben Israel. The headline read 'Cherry seen together as Fincedes gets together', and this was accompanied by a large amount of text, which read along the lines of 'Rachel Berry, Glee Club's resident star, was seen during a heavy petting session with Mike Chang, Spanish extraordinaire. Meanwhile, Finn Hudson was seen with Glee diva Mercedes Jones as they took a romantic stroll, even pausing at said Rachel's fashionable house…'

No wonder everyone had been giving her strange looks! She looked at the photos, which depicted her crying into Mike's shoulder, and looked as if they were embracing out of love. Wasn't this illegal? Stowing her phone in her bag and carrying her books, she marched over to Mike, intending to ask for his help, but he walked off awkwardly, trying to repair his dead relationship with Tina. Everyone seemed to be calling them either 'Cherry' or 'Bang', reasons for which were less-than-appropriate.

Hell, even Coach Sylvester was giving her weird looks. Did everyone read Jacob's blog? Quinn and Sam were looking at her like she was crazy to elope with Mike as Finn and Mercedes won each others' hearts, while Videocamera Guy had the nerve to ask her whether 'you guys have done it yet'. She slapped him sharply, which sent him running off to Jacob Ben Israel (and spawning another story about 'Rachel Berry, resident seductress of William McKinley High School, loses control and resorts to physical violence').

Rachel tried to talk to Finn during class, even though she really cared about History. He just tried to avoid her, however, which was difficult given that he was two seats away from her and Rachel's Evil Berry Glare extended over a fifty-mile radius. In fact, people sometimes thought they should lock her up in a biohazard facility before she could permanently scar more minds.

During lunch, Rachel caught up with Weird-Nerd-Who-She-Sat-Next-To-In-English, who dropped his tray and ran away screaming, as if she was just going to grab him randomly and start making out with him. She wasn't that slutty! She wasn't even a slut in the first place; it was all a big misunderstanding! It was a horrible misunderstanding though, because even Weird-Nerd-Who-Wait, wasn't he supposed to be confined to a 'psycho ward', as everyone called it in Lima? Anyway, even _he _was running away from her? What mess had she gotten herself into this time?

Rachel was pretty sure that she could answer her own question perfectly.

* * *

**Review! I think we should start demanding for them, lol. Everyone else seems to be. But I'm fine if you don't review (though Carmen may not be, due to her Rachel Berry complex.)**

**-Lea (I am going to begin signing my name like that, because it's cool. LEA MICHELE!) Haha.(: xx  
**


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